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The higher advice that we acquired from one other couples therapist was, Do you think you two need to hate each other in case you break up up?” We had been young and we did think that we needed to be miserable and negative — it turns out that we did not.
That’s the reason it is higher to base a wedding on more than emotion and to suppose by means of the reasons for the marriage earlier than we enter into it. Nothing is worse than a miserable marriage that appears like a life sentence, but I can tell you that God can change hearts – even yours – and bring the joy back into your marriage.
This helped me understand that he was showing me love, when he held me, in his language, even when it didn’t really feel prefer it to me. These insights had been key in serving to to show our marriage around, as we each learned to better respect the opposite person’s love language, and to try to meet these needs.